Shame, she says, originates from the feeling of not being "enough"--not feeling worthy. Brown says that the people who did not feel shame, were the people who had " the courage to be imperfect." They were vulnerable with their flaws. They were authentic. "As a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do for connection."
Our vulnerability increases connection with people.
I think it's absolutely amazing how our flaws make us who we are in a sense...they make us authentic. (Yes, we live in a fallen world--and ultimately our flaws are the result of the Fall--but our flaws also make us unique and real). We so badly want to hide them away from everybody, but a majority of people would rather just see us be us than be a fake. So, laying them all out there is painful...and yes, it might mean that in some cases we are hurt, but having the courage to say "this is me, I'm imperfect, but I'm loved" is not only powerful in bringing more joy into our lives, but in connecting us to others as well.
Our flaws are just begging for these connections and for human relationship to come and fulfill whatever it is that we lack.
Recently, I fell in love with the absolutely beautiful song "Flaws" by Bastille. They sing of our flaws being necessary to be who we are as people. And the need for connection...for someone to come fill the hole that a flaw has left. Check it out, because I think that the song portrays a certain openness and authenticity that "digging up" and being vulnerable with our flaws can bring.
